How to make Jesus toast, you say?

FOUR easy steps to - Eat Jesus for Breakfast

Step One: Get Bread, Get Butter, Get Crazy.

Step Two: The Face of God, In Butter.

Carefully cut little slices of butter and arrange them to make the face of The Messiah, making sure to focus on the crucial beard/mullet areas. Inadvertenty note that "Jesus has a butterface" and immediately feel such tremendous guilt that you break down and pray. Very good, young strumpet.

Step Three: Put Jesus in the Oven.

Step Four: Jeeee-licious!

Proceed to Munch on Jesus.

Gnam.

Ok, Ok, not as good as the "original toaster"....

The Holy Toaster was found in the back of a thrift store in summer of 2005. Miraculously, it produces a perfect image of holiness on every piece of toast that emerges. Scientists have not yet been able to determine what has happened to the toaster but believers are flocking to see. (Lol).